October was rather chaotic for me, in part because of work and other projects. That said, I hope you enjoyed Halloween as much as I have! Needless to say, expect things to get back to their regular schedule of mid-week updates! That is, unless something else comes up. Stay cool, everyone!
Usually, when I write an editorial bit (in addition to my reviews), it pertains to some anecdote on popular culture or the media. Personal and random stuff is often pushed into the occasional “ramblings” post. That said, there’s been something on my chest I’ve been wanting to get off for a while, in addition to some other things. First off, I’ve been in denial for the longest time that I’m depressed. Coping with depression, let alone admitting to having it, is never easy. It’s a long and arduous journey rife with pain and suffering. Frustration and indifference only breeds more of the same in a relentless cycle. Crudely put, it sucks.
I’ve been trying to convince myself that diving deep into all sorts of interesting projects (including this one) will cause it to go away. You don’t need a degree in psychology to know it’s not that simple. Also, admitting this wasn’t simple either. We live in a world that’s afraid to admit when a problem is at hand, let alone finding solutions for those problems. At the very least, I’m making an effort to acknowledge what has plagued me for so long. And lemme tell you, boldly stepping up to an open space and comfortably admitting something is wrong with you takes a lot. The same me in the past year or two wouldn’t do that. Granted, I didn’t want to seek solutions or help, just stew in misery. To an extent, I had almost found familiarity in despair. I don’t know what did it, but my recent mental meltdown convinced me I needed to find help, change things up a little, and think of a plan that will lead to slow but sure improvements for me. A lot of it won’t work, but it helps move things a little bit towards the right direction in one way or another. After being so long without hope or motivation, I’ve started to push myself (with tons of assistance from the people around me) to do something about it. And just like admitting it, that’s no easy feat either. Trying to find ways to combat depression is more agonizing and taxing than the depression itself at times. In the end, tracking every little bit of progress is worth it, especially when you reflect on how far you’ve come. Now, I doubt I’ll totally be out of the thick of it, but I’m thankful to say that I’m not in the same state I was back in my public school days or even last year for that matter. And realizing that, it’s a little comforting; helping me cope with new challenges a little better on the endless road to recovery. While perfection is a farce and a fantasy, the motivation to improve has always spurred progress on little by little, as making small steps matters a lot when it builds up over time. And ya know what? Everyone goes at their own pace too. Who cares if your progress isn’t as fast as someone else. You know you best, you know what speed works best for you. Rushing too fast can be more harmful than helpful, after all.
What I’m trying to say is that it affects many of us; and to any reading suffering with it, you’re never alone. Plans and strategies work differently for different people, but there’s certain to be something out there that helps. One must never stop looking, even if others help them look. The battle is great and it takes its toll, but the war can always be won. Stuff like hope and faith seem like bullshit when you’re depressed, but it’s really all you have. Now sure, this post may seem a little less coherent and structured as some of my others, but this was a raw post written from personal reflection, emotion, and what have you. And, I know this might read like a load of gibberish to some readers, but I’m hoping this provides some level of inspiration and hope to various readers out there.
Yesterday, I rambled a little about the companies that presented yesterday and the day before. In a sense, E3 is almost like a holiday to me at this point. While I’ve been falling out of loop with the gaming world, tons of great titles and genuinely fascinating events have been pulling me back into it. That said, two platforms for gaming have been constants for me, even after I faded in and out of the fandom and community. Today, it’s all about PC gaming and Nintendo! Brace yourselves, this one’s quite a bit longer than the last one!!! More after the jump.
As everything gets back to “normal”, I’m beyond psyched for everything E3 has presented so far and what has yet to be seen. So far, this seems to be a pretty successful expo so far. It has been a mix of safe presentations and some pleasing surprises. In terms of conferences, I’ve viewed Bethesda, Ubisoft and Sony. In no particular order, here’s pretty much some blurbs. More after the jump.
Wednesdays just seemed to work better. Plus, I’m gonna be at a convention during the entire weekend. (AnimeNext, just like last year!) With that, stay tuned for more as we return to the mid-week schedule once more! Also, be on the look out for a mini review, some E3 rambling and more!
So, my schedule has gotten turbulent with all of the projects I’ve been working on, in addition to gaining more hours from my job. This blog isn’t taking a back seat. Far from it! That said, I’d expect my latest post a little late. Plus, I might have another post/review mid-week (courtesy of a pal willing to loan their WiiU to a good cause.) Stay tuned for more, as always.
I believe that’s enough ranting on my blog for a while. I want to attempt some level of professionalism. After all, this isn’t a random/how-I-feel/whatever blog after all. With that, I’m going to try to keep my rambles a little less focused on shouting and more so pondering and thoughts that I think might bring up interesting ideas and topics. Though come to think of it, my old drunken rants sounded just as absurd and incoherent as my sober ones. Perhaps it’s for the best that I try to avoid ranting and raving like a lunatic. After all, my aim is to provide some insight into various media; whether it’s reviewing the high and low points of something or just giving my opinion on other things. That said, I’ll still have some mad ramblings here or there, especially considering the weird and wonderful world we live in.
When my work was originally a tumblr blog, I typically posted updates at the end of every week. However, I had found it more comfortable to post in the middle of the week instead. And thus, Tuesdays/Wednesdays were the typical mark for my posting times. However, as my personal projects collide with all sorts of issues in real life, I’m starting to think that returning to the weekend is for the best.
There’s another thing I want to mention. After job hunting and some decent enough seasonal jobs, I might finally have something a little more steady. As such, my schedule might be rocky until I can fully adjust. So, with my schedule up in the air, we’ll see how this works and if I need to change things up. As always, I aim to keep a consistent schedule, rather than an unorganized and turbulent one. But no matter, I’ll see everyone in a couple days.
Hype. There’s a word with a lot of connotations and consequences, right there. To an extent, everything receives it. It’s all a part of spreading ideas and communicating. We share what we enjoy, it’s what we as people have done for ages. To borrow from Dawkins’ theory on the ‘meme’, popular ideas spread almost like a virus and eventually evolve too. And while it’s great to see something you’re passionate about spread all over the world, a saturation point is inevitably reached. At a certain point, the joy and fun of whatever is popular becomes robbed for many… and this assumes they were invested in the idea to begin with! For those who never cared, it can range from a minor groan and eye roll to agonizing frustration at almost every turn. For this reason, we have a page on TVTropes called “Hype Backlash.” While you could say that everything will always receive “THE HATERS”, things go a little bit deeper than that. Let’s dive into it, shall we?
For the past couple months, all I’ve seen from the company is a mix of disappointment and shock. First tensions between Kojima and Konami surge, putting projects like Silent Hills on the line, then Kojima is fired and people speculate that MGS5 is canned (which is wasn’t), Del Toro confirms that Silent Hills is cancelled, and yesterday Konami was taken off the NYSE. Considering the loss of a major power player as well as Konami vanishing from the mainstream by the looks of it, I can only think of a grim future for the company. I’ve heard the company has transitioned to apps, which I find mildly depressing too. But, I have a frothing hatred of most apps and app games, so there’s that. I also wonder what they’re going to do with their tabletop games like the yu-gi-oh franchise. I guess we’ll find out that and much more in the months to come.
(As an unrelated note, the article I submitted last week has been sent back for editing. Hopefully, we’ll have my content good to go within the next couple of weeks.)